You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
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I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
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also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it