In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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