Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(912): View more from Georgia

Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?

Fav 39 5150 1189
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.

Fav 69 922 4973
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

Fav 30 9542 1736
share tweet
(310): View more from California

i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic

Fav 5 3355 1222
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

Fav 19 1708 3809
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.

Fav 8 3168 1465
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross

Fav 18 1323 3254
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.

Fav 0 760 510
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.

Fav 2 114 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT