I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
