"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.