Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
