i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
