i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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