Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
