That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
