Whod you bang
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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