He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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