I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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