those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize