dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
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I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
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Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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