And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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