Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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