6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
