whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
