Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
