i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
These tits shall not be calmed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
