I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
