kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
