Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
