3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
