Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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