what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
