Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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