I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
