in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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