Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
