Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
