I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
