I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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