If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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