Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Panties = found
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize