I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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