What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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