I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
