have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm really busy with my period
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