Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
