Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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