I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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