Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
