Only a mothe r could love this liver
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
