So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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