i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
