when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Pants are for mortals
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