Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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