...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have post one night stand depression
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
