Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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