Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
honey bunches of taint.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
