If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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