How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
