dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
