I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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