she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
