The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize