and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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