Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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