we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
