i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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