If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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