be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
