There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
