I just threw up on my dentist
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
