but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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