wat bout pragnant strippers??
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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