She is in my trunk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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