Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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