we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
