You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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