we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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